肢体语言是一种无声的语言 。通过一个人的手势、肢体动作我们可以了解到他的思想意识、情绪变化等 , 它往往比善于“伪装”的有声语言更真实可信 。在2009年热播的美剧《别对我撒谎》(Lie to me)中,微表情专家卡尔·莱特曼无须测谎仪,无须确凿证据,甚至无须声音,多数情况下只凭细微的表情变化便可判断的一个人说谎与否 。编辑当年追剧时,也苦心钻研了卡尔的“读心术” 。
下面就和大家分享15种常见的肢体语言,学会这些 , 你就能更容易走进对方的内心,明白对方真实的想法和感受 。即使他们没有说出来 , 身体语言也会告诉你答案哦 。
1、双腿交叉通常意味着抵触或不太认同,这在谈判中不是一个好征兆
Out of 2,000 negotiations videotaped by Gerard I. Nierenberg and Henry H. Calero, the authors of "How to Read a Person Like a Book," there wasn't a single settlement when one of the negotiators had their legs crossed.《如何像读书一样读人》的作者杰勒德·尼伦伯格和亨利·H·卡莱罗录制了2000场谈判,其中“只要有谈判者双腿交叉时,就无法达成协议 。”
Psychologically, crossed legs signal that a person is mentally, emotionally, and physically closed off, which may mean they're less likely to budge in a negotiation.从心理学上看,双腿交叉意味着一个人在精神、情感和身体上自我封闭,这意味着他们可能不愿在谈判中让步 。
2、摊开手掌是表现诚实的传统方式
When someone swears to tell the truth in a court of law, they put one hand on a religious text and raise their other hand into the air, palm facing whoever they're speaking to.人们在法庭上发誓讲真话时,会把一只手放在宗教经文上,另一只手举在空中,手掌面对说话对象 。
That's because an open palm has been associated with "truth, honesty, allegiance, and submission" throughout Western history.这是因为在整个西方历史中,摊开的手掌一直与“真理、诚实、忠诚和顺从”联系在一起 。
3、眼角没有皱纹的笑容可能是假笑
If someone's trying to look happy but really isn't, you won't see the wrinkles.如果有人试图表现出开心的样子,但并不是发自内心的高兴 , 那么你是看不见对方的笑纹的 。
More recently, a study from Northeastern University researchers found that people could do a pretty good job of faking a Duchenne smile, even when they weren't feeling especially happy.最近 , 美国东北大学的一项研究发现,人们即使并没有感到特别开心,也能伪装出完美的假笑 。
It seems safe to say that if the crinkles aren't there, the person's probably not genuinely happy. But just because the crinkles are there doesn't necessarily mean they're elated.所以比较保险的说法是,没有皱纹的笑容证明一个人可能不是真正的快乐 。但仅仅因为笑出皱纹,也不能确定一个人真的很开心 。
4、挑眉毛往往是感到不舒服的信号
In the same way that real smiles shape the wrinkles around your eyes, worry, surprise, or fear can cause people to raise their eyebrows in discomfort.真正的笑容会让你的眼周出现皱纹 , 同样地,担心、惊讶或恐惧等不适情绪会让人挑起眉毛 。
5、如果对方模仿你的肢体语言,那么你们的谈话可能进展得很顺利
When two people are getting along, their postures and movements mirror each other's. When your best friend crosses her legs, you will, too. If you're on a date that's going well, you'll both be making the same hand gestures.当两人相处得愉快时 , 他们会模仿对方的姿势和动作 。当你最好的朋友双腿交叉时,你也会这样做 。如果你的约会进展顺利,你们就会做出同样的手势 。
This is because we mirror each other when we're feeling a connection, says positive psychologist Barbara Fredrickson.积极心理学家芭芭拉·弗雷德里克森说,这是因为当我们心灵相通时,我们就会模仿对方 。
6、如果有人和你对视太久,那么他可能在撒谎
In an attempt to avoid looking shifty-eyed, some liars will purposefully hold their gaze a touch too long, so that it's slightly uncomfortable, according to behavioral analyst and body language expert Lillian Glass.据行为分析师、肢体语言专家莉莲·格莱斯称,为了避免看起来躲躲闪闪的样子,有些说谎者故意把眼神接触拖得太久,以至于让人感到有些不舒服 。
They may also stand very still and not blink.他们可能还会站着一动不动,眼睛也不眨一下 。
7、一系列肢体动作表示有好感
Attraction isn't communicated through one signal but a sequence.传递好感不是凭借单一信号,而是一系列肢体语言 。
Neuropsychologist Marsha Lucas suggests one to watch for: "After making eye contact, she looks down a bit, gathers or otherwise preens her hair, and then looks up at you while her chin is tipped."神经心理学家玛莎·卢卡斯建议人们留意:“在两人对视后,对方是否眼神微微向下瞥,摆弄了一下头发,然后微抬头看向你 。”
8、如果有人不停摸脸或搓手,那么他们可能有些紧张
Some of the most common manifestations of our anxiety? Touching your face and rubbing the skin on your hands. Both can be soothing behaviors when you're feeling uncomfortable.焦虑最常见的表现有哪些?答案包括摸脸 , 搓手 。当你感到不舒服的时候,这两种行为都能起到安抚情绪的作用 。
9、如果有人和你一起笑 , 那么他们可能喜欢你
If someone is receptive to your humor, they're likely interested in you.如果有人对你的幽默很买账,那么他们可能对你感兴趣 。
Evolutionary psychologists say that humor - and positive reception to humor - play a pivotal role in human development. They serve as a way of signaling a desire for a relationship, be it platonic or romantic.进化心理学家称,幽默以及对幽默的积极反应在人类的发展中发挥了至关重要的作用 。它们能传达渴求与对方建立关系的信号,不论是柏拉图式关系,还是爱欲关系 。
10、抖腿是内心不安的表现
"Your legs are the largest area of your body," University of Massachusetts professor Susan Whitbourne says, "so when they move, it's pretty hard for others not to notice."马萨诸塞大学教授苏珊·惠特伯恩称:“腿部是人体最庞大的肢体部位 , 所以当腿部有所动作时,很难不让外人注意到 。”
A shaky leg signals anxiety, irritation, or both, she says.苏珊说,抖腿表示焦虑、恼怒,或者两者都有 。
11、浅浅一笑直视对方可能是在试图放电
Psychologist Ronald E. Riggio's research suggests that there's a specific type of smile people display when they're trying to act seductive.心理学家罗纳德·E·李乔的研究表明,人们在试图释放性吸引力时,会散发出特定类型的笑容 。
"They typically display positive affect - a slight smile that accompanies direct eye contact, with a slow glance away, but still holding the smile.“他们通常会表现出积极的情绪——微笑着直视对方,然后保持笑容将目光缓慢移开 。”
12、眉头没有向内聚拢上抬,那么他可能没有看上去那么悲伤
Psychologist Paul Ekman uses the term "reliable muscles" for the muscles in the face that you can't contract voluntarily.心理学家保罗·艾克曼用“可靠的肌肉”来形容人们无法自如控制的面部肌肉 。
If you observe a person expressing sadness both verbally and facially, but the inner corners of his eyebrows are not going up and in, he may not be experiecing sadness at all. He's unable to contract these muscles voluntarily despite his best efforts.如果你发现有人用语言和面部表情表达悲伤,但是他的眉头没有上抬聚拢,那么他可能根本不难过 。尽管他已经尽了最大努力,但是他还是无法自如地收缩这些肌肉 。
13、一半的面部表情比另一半明显,那么这可能不是真实的情绪
The vast majority of facial displays of emotion are bilateral - that is, they show up on both sides of the face equally. Next time you tell a joke, look to see if her smile is symmetrical when she laughs.大部分表达情绪的面部表情都是对称的,也就是说,脸部两侧的表情是对等的 。下次你再讲笑话时,看看对方的笑容是否是对称的 。
14、豪放的姿势意味着权力和成就感
If someone's leaning back and relaxed, they probably feel powerful and in control. In fact, research has found that even people born blind raise their arms in a V shape when they win a physical competition.如果一个人放松地向后靠,那么他们可能感觉自己很强大,胜券在握 。事实上研究发现,即使是天生的盲人,在体育竞赛中取胜时也会举起胳膊形成V字形 。
15、耸肩是表示困惑的通用肢体信号
The shrug is a good example of a universal gesture that is used to show that a person doesn't know or doesn't understand what you are saying.耸肩是一种通用的肢体语言,它表明一个人不知道或不明白你在说什么 。
【有哪些常用的肢体语言 :掌握了这15种,你也能成“读心专家”!速学~】